I've long wanted to write a post with that headline. But while I delayed, my opinion on the matter changed.
What's the point? When I'm out of work and orders for a long time, I start to move and actively reach out to former colleagues and clients looking for tasks. In those cases I often encounter people who treat their words very irresponsibly. They promised to answer a question by a specific time — and didn't. They said they needed help — and then disappeared off the radar.
At the same time the person disappears; you write to them — and they literally hide, not replying until the last moment. The reason is obvious to me: the interlocutor kind of remembers they promised me something, but they're generally not focused on me and are embarrassed to say so directly. Better to pretend they vanished from the network for a week.
In such situations I used to think: “Damn, you behave like this because I came to you. I remember that when you came to me and needed something, everything happened quickly and no one hid from anyone.” But even that isn't true.
Lately even those people who knocked on my door and wanted something from me have been disappearing. They vanish for the same reason: it's awkward to say they changed their mind or that circumstances shifted. And they didn't answer me on time because there wasn't much to answer with.
I will never believe someone is so busy that they can't find 20–30 seconds to send a message in a messenger.
So what do I think now? I think: “It's great when you sell services or products a person simply can't do without, and the customer understands that.” All this talk about who came to whom is nonsense — a way to flatter the ego. So if I'm not selling food, medical services, or something tied to basic needs, safety, or anything the business can't exist without, I should just relax and accept people's behavior — both executors' and clients'.
I'll remind you of a simple formula you can write to someone if you can't reply right now (you don't have the information, can't break away from work, are driving, etc.):
— I can't give a proper answer right now, sorry. I'll write on such-and-such day at such-and-such time.
And then actually write :)